Hey guys, this is a little bit of a personal post. If you're reading this, I assume you are somewhat of a nerd, and that's ok. Don't let people push you around and let them change you; you will just resent them for not accepting who you are. Those that are closest to you especially. Family will try to change you out of fear of being ostracized from society, but explain to them that you're happy being who you are (unless you're not) but don't get upset. Having calm and mature conversations about your lifestyle choices is one of many different ways to show your family that this is who you really are, but getting upset is a sure fire way to show them that you are immature and invalidates your emotions/reasoning.
Girlfriends, amirite? I'm pretty sure this relates in someway to you ladies too, but this is just my experience. As a young nerd in the early 90's girls were this illusive thing and there was this one in particular that I crushed on so hard... it ends badly. We met in middle school, she was the more sporty type, more popular than I. So what would you do? Well I decided to become more like her, change myself completely. In high school over a summer I cut my hair short, got new clothes and pierced my ear. The next fall I was cool, still nerdy on the inside, but socially acceptable on the outside. That was literally all it took to be popular; look like everyone else. I would get attention from girls and it was great, but what I wanted was that one girl. We had dated off and on in high school, but nothing serious. In my senior year I went out with another girl but broke up after two and a half years.
After that I rekindled my friendship/relationship with my crush. I had just turned 20, and in my mind this was it; my big chance to be in a real relationship with my dream girl. I had cultivated a persona that she'd be attracted to, had a car (that was nearly as old as I), a job, and in community college. I loved this chick more than anything, I would do crazy shit for her. I would drive her hours away on her whim. I changed everything about myself to get her to love me. At the end of our three year relationship; she didn't. No amount of love, dedication, loyalty, kindness, or blind, stupid giving would change that. Through our relationship my heart shattered over and over; I kept giving, and loving, hoping that she would return my feelings, but she never did. I know that makes me a dumb ass, but I really thought that she was the one. She knew how much I would give to her; how much I blindly loved her and she took advantage of it. It made me cold and angry inside until I could bear it no longer and I broke up with her.
I moved on. I found someone who I respected and loves me like I love her. Everyone deserves to be cared for, and loved for who they are. I learned from my mistakes and I hope you picked up something too. Was it wrong for my ex to take advantage of me? No. It is simple human nature to take whatever you can get. It was my fault for not recognizing that was what was going on. I was blinded by my feelings for her; this is just a cautionary tale for you guys. Don't change who you are, give what you are getting in return, and love yourself before you love someone else.
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